Chapter Two

Getting ready, to commence, to begin, to start, to crank this thing at Bull Shoals State Park. Stuff about stuff.

Debbie Gamble of the Cotter Trout Dock guided me to the State Park at Bull Shoals Dam. I put the little Mad River 16-foot in and pulled the car and trailer back up. I had forgotten to unplug the taillights before they entered the water. As soon as I noticed the mistake, I unplugged them. Apparently they were not under long enough to hurt anything. When the rig was hooked back up the lights worked fine.

I had a little disappointment with the trailer. One of the plastic fenders must have fallen off on the drive up. The second one did the same thing as we pulled the rig out of the water. I threw it away after seeing the bolt holes had expanded from the road vibrations. I was ticked when I realized driving through rain was going to throw water right up into the boat. That’s a tough bailing job when your boat is full of gear.

The trailer is made for canoes up to 17 feet. The manufacturer is Trailex of Canfield, Ohio. My cousin harassed me about buying a trailer when all I had to do was lift the boat to the top of my little Chevy HHR. I told him it was because in a few years I might not be strong enough. I wanted to be able to go fishing and not have to worry about lifting a canoe to the top of a car. This is about having a little fun and not about the macho deal. I don’t think Johnny has made the inevitable leap from the twilight zone to the twilight years. It’s not that we have to give up our adventures we just have to prepare for them a little more. I has spoken.

I have been very happy with the trailer because of its ease of handling. Even driving through the mountains in my little Chevy HHR I can‘t feel the rig behind me. I can man handle it with a loaded boat, motor on floor and all, walking it around at will. The boat, trailer and all store in a fairly tight space. I like the place for a lock on top of the hitch. I padlock it while on the river. It makes me feel the car and trailer will at least be together when the cops find them.

When I was writing this journal chapter I decided to call the manufacturer and tell him about the fenders falling off. I did. He said no problem he would send me replacements. I asked if they would be plastic also and he said yes they had gotten a bad pallet of them back in the winter. The fender manufacturer said the plastic was mixed wrong and caused them to crack. He said they have been making this trailer since 1972 and this is the first time they have had a problem so he believed the guy. I believed the Trailex man. He took down my address and phone number and said he would send me a new set right away. That made me happy.

The trailer costs me only 2 to 3 miles per gallon behind my little HHR 4 banger. I am now doing the edit of this chapter and the fenders have arrived and been put on the trailer. It took less than a week from the time I called the manufacturer. I can recommend his trailers. I have been more than pleased with the product and think it is the only way to go. The single canoe version model number is SUT-200-S. The company makes trailers for more than one canoe but I didn’t have enough foresight to buy one. Should have but didn’t.

Warning to the mechanically impaired: This is a mail order trailer and it comes in three boxes. You know where this is going. Another engineer messing with my mind. Be ready to spend some time putting this thing together. It works but the instructions are vague to say the least.

Back to the river…..

I got my real first shock of the day when I waded out to un-strap the canoe. I was wearing my 12-year-old Teva sandals and the cold bit down like a vise on my toes. Dang it was cold. The water was about 55 degrees and right out of the bottom of the lake a few hundred yards away. I immediately found my brand new REI water booties. They are called Venture Warmers. They look like a rubber version of the old black, high topped, Converse basketball shoes. After putting them on it was like a different world. I could wade around all I wanted and the cold did not affect my feet. Even though the booties only came up to my ankles the cold didn’t affect my shins or calves. I assumed the shin and calf area is not as sensitive as the feet. I don’t know why. I just know it was much more comfortable with the wet suit type booties. I recommend to you cold water folks, get a pair right away. The wet suit type gloves work great as well.

When Debbie dropped me off I still had more arranging to do. I don’t know what my compulsion is but I seem to spend way too much time fiddling with gear. Before I could shove off I had coolers to ice for cold drinks and lunchmeat. I had two or three bags of excess stuff. Two days before I felt all of it was absolutely necessary and now I had a lot of dead weight.

I got everything into the boat, adjusted my outriggers so the floats would not be touching the water. Now a word about what my cousin, John Copeland McKelvey, aka Heinous McGurk, called my canoe training wheels. I don’t care if he thinks they are for sissies. I haven’t turned over in 56 degree water traveling at 6 mph and I don’t plan on doing so. At my age I intend to use wisdom and safety whenever I can. (if only I could recognize either of them it would help) I’ve spent my life doing it the other way and sometimes it can get downright dangerous doing things the hardheaded way. Nah ne nah ne noooon noooo, John Copeland, the damned things worked great and I made the trip with a greater sense of security with them.

My floats came from the same retail mail order outfit where I bought my trailer, Castle Craft Equipment of Braidwood, Ill. They were made by Spring Creek Design and worked really well both under power and just floating down the river. For someone who is nervous about the easily tilted canoes these outriggers are wonderful. If you travel alone like I do it’s ok to cheat any way you can for safety. It’s your life.

The two other cheaters I used were a three and a half horse Mercury outboard and two Harmony bow and stern stuffers. If my side outriggers were called training wheels then these heavy-duty, form-fitting blow ups could be called water wings for canoes. Again, at this age, caution is key. When canoes turn over they don’t float without some sort of floatation device helping. My Explorer has no built in floatation. So I thought if I turn over and get separated from the boat I would at least be able to wave goodbye.

At 16, two of my buddies and I swam the White just below the dam at Batesville. It was at night and a foolish thing to do but then we were bullet proof. Besides there were chicks on the sandbar having their senior week luau. Our chief trouble planner, Al Harris the Third, felt we had to do something impressive. After all, this was the class a year a head of us and we thought they were cool. I still don’t know if the girls were impressed but I still remember it 45 years later. That swim was a thriller and even though we thought we were tough we knew the river was boss.

Back to the river….

The motor worked great. I had made a couple of planning mistakes and a huge mistake when ordering it. I mistakenly ordered a long shaft motor. That made the shaft darned near six inches longer than the normal. What that does to a river runner is terrible. I had extended the motor far deeper into the water than necessary. I should have been working to keep the prop as shallow as possible.

The mistake was countered by adding a jake plate to the Mad River side mount. By adding 8 inches we lifted the prop to within 3 inches of the keel depth. The problem with that is I am going down the river with my motor darned near head high. That action has a reaction from gravity. By raising the motor so high I had inadvertently raised the boat’s center of gravity. Not good. In turn that makes the canoe even more tippy than when we started. Tippy is bad. Tippy is why we have training wheels in the first place. Tippy, tippy, tippy bad deal. The second problem is when you beach the boat it now needs a kick-stand. Yeah, just like a motorcycle. The motor is so high and the forty pounds becomes greater. The motor weight wants to turn the canoe over as soon as the large counter balance gets up off his seat and steps out of the canoe.

This is where the outriggers do double duty. By lowering the floats to the lowest position, i.e. touching the water, the left one actually does provide enough floatation to act as a water born kickstand. The motor had to be in the down or running position. Now at least the boat doesn’t fall on its side and fill with water.

The water wings had to be tied into place. When traveling at highway speed the wind whips at the rear float, and it attempts to fly out onto the highway. I deflated it and put it into the car rather than fight the forces of I-30 wind. You also want to tie them in place so they can perform their duties if the boat ever does capsize. It doesn’t make much sense to buy your boat water wings and then fail to attach them.

With all my little paranoid precautions in place, I still tie each and every bag and the motor to the boat. I want to be able to retrieve all my gear in case of turning over. I always wear my full sized life jacket. I don’t apologize for any of this behavior. I love life and plan on getting a whole bunch more out of it before I kick. It’s hard to get a thrill from canoeing if your under the water rather than floating on top and therein lies the bottom line. Live life to the fullest but be damned sure to come back alive so you can love it another day.

That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it. I has spoken…….